Baby clothes can be absurdly cute. They can also be wildly impractical.
Given how prone babies are to spit-ups, diaper blowouts and rapid growth, it’s a wonder parents put them in clothes at all. And then there are all the tiny and needlessly complicated buttons, snaps and zippers.
But at least they provide an opportunity for humor. Here are 35 funny tweets about baby clothes from parents and non-parents alike. Enjoy!
You dress your first baby in only the finest 100% Organic clothes. You dress your Second baby in whatever fits and isn’t covered in piss.
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) January 3, 2014
These tears aren’t because my baby is getting bigger and outgrowing clothes so fast. They’re because my baby never even got to wear so many expensive outfits.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) January 16, 2018
In hell they make you fold baby clothes until the end of time.
— Mike Spohr (@newbornidentity) September 1, 2013
why tf do baby clothes got pockets they don’t even own shit
— luis (@ShineMyShit) April 16, 2019
The more expensive the baby clothes, the less likely they seem to be designed for people who actually change their own kids’ diapers.
— Claire Zulkey (@Zulkey) May 27, 2015
Baby socks that look like shoes are the tuxedo shirts of baby clothing.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) February 7, 2017
My 15 month old daughter’s clothes are nicer than mine. I understand wanting your kids to have better things than you, but it should be within reason. She doesn’t leave the house. All of her friends are stuffed animals. Nobody cares what she wears.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) March 20, 2019
first day of my period and husband’s making me clean out a bunch of containers of the kids’ baby clothes lol RIP husband
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 9, 2019
RAN INTO A COWORKER AT TARGET. DIDN’T WANT HER TO KNOW I WAS BUYING BABY CLOTHES FOR MY CAT SO I TOLD HER I’M PREGNANT
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 3, 2015
LOVE dressing my daughter in baby clothes. The itsy-bitsy pink pajamas. The tiny white socks. The black leather mask. Cuteness overload!
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 13, 2015
i’m jealous of my 2-month old’s clothes. I want them all in my size.
— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) September 18, 2011
Buttons on baby clothes can go fuck themselves.
— Lady E (@cakevans) November 28, 2013
My baby pooped through three outfits today.
Now I’m letting her crawl around in just a diaper.
She finally won the war on pants.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 2, 2016
i went to target for a pillow and left in a unicorn onesie and some baby pumpkin shoes for a child that i don’t have
— tina woods🤠 (@tinawoodsss) October 7, 2017
Money saving tip for new parents
Don’t toss those clothes!
A baby dress can be used as a toddler tank top
And a training bra!
— Marl (@Marlebean) June 24, 2016
That onesie craze is really taking. I’m starting to see babies wearing them!
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 18, 2015
We’ve all buried our face in a to-be-donated pile of outgrown baby clothes and wept, right?
— Amanda Magee (@AmandaMagee) June 22, 2014
MAKE BABY CLOTHES FOR ADULTS
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 10, 2019
Babies are weak and helpless until it comes time to put on or remove the onesie which is when they Hulk out and fight back like Schwarzenegger in COMMANDO.
— Esoteric Jeff (@EsotericCD) August 13, 2018
My 9 month old hasn’t pooped in 2 days. She is CLEARLY waiting for us to put her Baby’s First Christmas outfit on her.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) December 24, 2018
Can baby onesie buttons be any more confusing? Parents seriously don’t understand.
— JEFF WILD (@jiffywild) October 1, 2013
Royal baby clothes must be fancier than regular baby clothes, like a medal just for making it out of the royal uterus
— Diep Tran 🧙🏼♀️ (@diepthought) July 22, 2013
going to scare my girlfriend and buy her a bunch of baby clothes for her birthday
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 9, 2014
Why don’t they just make newborn clothes out of baby wipes?
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) July 23, 2011
why do baby’s clothes need pockets? what do they carry around? baby wallets? fuck off
— Melanie Bracewell (@meladoodle) May 26, 2014
Daycare lady: When does your wife get home?
Me: How did you know she was gone?
Daycare lady: Your baby’s clothes are inside out & backward
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2015
All baby clothing should come in a poo-brown color. It would save parents a bundle on Spray and Wash.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) November 23, 2014
Can I borrow someone’s baby this month so I can dress it in a little Santa outfit just say yes plz don’t make it weird
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 7, 2017
I’m glad the baby’s clothes have so many pockets or else he’d be asking me to carry all his stuff.
— Claire Zulkey (@Zulkey) December 29, 2012
My two week old son has on an outfit to go nowhere. Only reason he has it on is to wear once before he can’t any more. No mo newborn gear.
— tremmell darden (@tremenduz) March 24, 2010
You know you’re done having kids when baby clothes aren’t cute anymore.
— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) October 29, 2016